Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Name the Zebra


Jürgen and I discovered this Zebra once while running up around Rhodes Memorial early one morning. This picture was taken by Kath in Feb when she visited. Jürgen and I took her and Terry up to visit Zebra.

I love this picture because it captures a playfulness that I enjoy about life and long for sometimes in the stress of a day. It is currently set as my wallpaper.

Phoebe, the dog, is not so sure about the Zebra. She was chased by a zebra when she was younger. She chased some deer, who it seems, have a simple strategy when it comes to such eventualities. The deer run straight for the zebra. The zebra are not afraid of Phoebes so they chased Phoebe. Quite a sight to see zebras chasing a dog chasing deer.

Zebra and Phoebe have made peace now.

I am trying to think of a clever name for Zebra. All suggestions welcome.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Iron John, Eastern Cape 19-21 March

“You Bounce Dude.” Words that have inspired this Blog: thanks Alex.

Who said men can’t do touchy feely. I spent three days with 4 tough okes and spent every mealtime talking about feelings (“Blerry hell, I’m hungry”). Admittedly, our feeling vocab is a little more limited than women p’raps; five words sufficing for the surprisingly broad spectrum of masculine emotions. And it takes us a little longer to sift through this five-word thesaurus - or maybe it takes that long to figure out we have insides – I don’t know. But in the company of men it is comforting and refreshing to be able to talk openly about one’s guts and not just scatology, sport and spirits.

Looking back, I realise I should have kept a diary cos I have a further handicap to complicate my maleness: a poor memory. This photo is of our home on my first night with the Iron John okes. They had already spent two days at the Buffalo Rally, which, apparently, was pretty much the stereotypical piss-up on two wheels. For these sleep-deprived bikers, the sound of super-bikes being burned beyond blast-off was replaced by the chirrups of crickets and sush of winded trees.

I found the rain quite depressing as I hate being cold and wet, but I enjoyed learning to ride in the mud.

One memorable episode: William (striped yellow oke on left) aka “President” is riding point (in the front – duh) at breakneck speed having signed chicken at the rest of us on his way past beyond Bloukraans Pass (i.e. he waggled his elbows). So Pete (all yellow in middle) is hot on his tail with me just behind him. Over a rise and down into a dip where William notices the road is flooded. Too late. Flash on the brakes but hope for the best. Pete has only enough time to duck before William’s wave blasts into him and his own bike kicks up a wake to rival a tanker. Now, novice that I am, I look to me elderly, more mature, seniors to set an example for me. So in the split second it takes for me to crest the rise and assess the problem I have taken the decision that, since my two elderly, more mature, senior compatriots have hit the road-river at speed, this must be the way to do it safely… so I accelerate. With the result that I hit the water hard enough for the wake to knock my feet off the pegs, dragging my bum almost clear off the back of the bike and leaving my loins rather the worse for wear. We rejoiced over a cop of scalding coffee at the Storm’s River truck stop that we were still alive. Next time I’ll be more careful… riiiiight.

Next day, we headed into the Karoo to find some sun. I found I was in my element on the dirt roads on the way to Calitzdorp. I also found I was in my chops on the way round one particularly nasty corner. Thank God for genuine sow thefrican bovine hide chaps, which saved my skin from a good grating on the dirt. Thank God for Alex who bent my brake pedal back into shape with his bare hands. William taught me how to pick my bike up (its that sexy one in front, William’s old flame) without breaking my back and Pete laughed his head off.

Check out Peter Woods’ blog (that’s Peter the closet Budhist, not Pete the-green-is-always-Grassouw) for more on the weekend, biking and other moving bits.

Peter spoke of the bike as a metaphor for authentic masculinity: balance and managed power. When I was a teenager I feared my unruly rage, which I was unable to control when pushed by bullies, getting beaten to a pulp after a wildly thrown punch. I feared that that misunderstood power could hurt those I loved, especially when Katie came along (in the yo-yo hours of a sleepless night I understand where child abuse starts). I am learning now to appreciate and to manage my power, finding - however imperfectly - a balance between domesticity and wildness, between oxytocin and testosterone.

Great weekend Dudes! I’m lus for more…

Oral Fixation

After one year, she has mastered life.

At her teddy bear’s picnic in Kirstenbosch, Madam was in complete control. She deserted her parents and chatted up a storm with everyone who had gathered in her honour. Not even a glance in her parent’s direction. After two hours we decided enough is enough and claimed our daughter before she forgot who she belongs to.

Thank you to everyone who made the day special.

A little later, Katie enjoyed smearing chocolate on every available surface.

Her eating habits have taken on a distinctly political edge as her parents endeavour to create enticing concoctions, which are routinely rejected for such things as gherkins and dog crumbles - not to mention cigarette buts and potting soil. We have finally accepted that purity makes baby food but not Katie food and President Katie is well on her way to placing food in her mouth rather than her ear. But she still thinks that butternut is a shampoo and her face cloth is a good re-hydrating energy drink. She is also convinced that breast-milk should come from any of Yvette’s body parts but has had little success getting much out of ears, noses and elbows. Fortunately she hasn’t tried this on me… too hairy me thinks.

Being a father has taught me to bounce much more. I think it has been good for me. I am much more accepting of my own foibles and weirdness - as well as others’ - now that I realise how fragile life is. I have very little time to dwell on my inadequacies; and when I do I am distracted by Katie and her faithful sidekick, Phoebe, making light work of a baked potato.

“No Katie! That’s for you, not Phoebe,” squeals Minister of Environmental Affairs, aka Mom, in a vain attempt to assert some motherly control. At least the cushions and couch-throws accept her control.

Minister of Sport and Entertainment, aka Dad, has long since acquiesced any semblance of power, preferring the more diplomatic route of allowing the tail to wag the dog: “So, whose cell phone’s going to be our darling’s hors d'oeuvre tonight Dear?”

Friday, March 24, 2006

It's a Dassie!

When I was in High School I had a biology teacher who enjoyed the outdoors and green safari suits. He took us on long hikes in the Western Cape mountains. Great adventures. He would walk ahead of us leading the way into unexplored territory - at least for us. He had a habit of farting in step with his feet.

Anyway, he once got chasing me around our camp one evening and I scampered off across the precarious round boulders of the river we had hiked up. Impressed by my youthful agility he started calling me "Dassie". A Dassie is a little rodent-like creature about the size of a brick, related to an elephant somehow. But unlike a brick or an elephant, it is a very agile creature, appearing to bounce off the rocks in which it makes its home.

Mind you, I've heard that elephants are actually quite agile. Not to mention quiet! Are they still looking for that one in Knysna?

So, I sometimes call myself Dassie, because I hope that I can bounce. Sometimes I just hope.

People have been saying I should Blog, so here it is and for want of a better name, I'm calling it Dassies Bounce.